But let's get down to the niddy gritty, shall we? What are the things I absolutely and utterly disdain?
Well, I thought I'd never ask myself. So, in no particular order, here are some of the things I hate:
Country Music- It can't get much worse than a rootin' tootin' song about your girlfriend (who is also your sister) sleeping with your best friend (who just so happens to be your older brother).
The Houston Airport- Could their concourses be any farther away from each other? Gees. What the crap? I felt like I was Forest Gump running across the good 'ole U.S. of A. Brutal. Absolutely brutal.
Cubs Fans- I am a Cub fan, but boy do I hate the Wrigley faithful. Baseball dumb from their head down to their toes. And If I hear another Cub fan say that Ron Santo needs to be in the Hall of Fame, I'm going to shoot myself. There's a reason he's not in the Hall of Fame: He wasn't good enough.
The feeling you get right before you blow chunks- Do I even need to explain this? The fact that something is about to protrude from your insides is sick nasty. But once it's out, it's a pretty good feeling.
Crocs- These seem to be every body's favorite fake shoe of the past three years. When I see humans wearing these I see it as injustice. I'm okay with people over the age of 40 wearing them because well, let's be honest, who do they need to impress? But if you're under the age of 40, do yourself a favor and burn your Crocs into a giant pile of melted plastic.
The "coexist" bumper sticker- We are coexisting! What brainless Unitarian created this?
The over categorization of music genres- If I were to explain this my head might explode. There are waaaaay too many "cores" out there for me to keep track of: grindcore, metalcore, hardcore, post hardcore, happycore, sadcore... and the list goes on and on. If anybody out there knows the man in charge of creating such ridiculousness, please tell him to stop. It's getting out of control.
Cars with really big rims- Not only are the rims obnoxiously obnoxious, but the paint schemes are as well. These cars not only shout out for attention; they also yell, "who needs drugs!?"
When text lingo is used in normal conversation- Speak English please.
Rachel McAdams movies- This, of course, is a joke. Rachel, you know I'm just joking. You know I love me some you.
ESPN- I can't stand the boo-ya's and their east coast bias. If I could get through a highlight without a witty remark or a snazzy catch phrase I'd throw a parade. Just give me the friggin highlights please!!
If you love these things, I still love you.